Stone Cold
by Cassie2
Summary: After the 'demon revolution' Buffy changes for the worse, not fighting evil anymore, she meets Angel and Faith who want her to help again. B/A
1. Who cares?

TITLE: Stone Cold (1/?)  
AUTHOR: Talia  
E-MAIL: pinkyboringness@hotmail.com  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own any of the characters, all property to Joss etc.  
TIMELINE: Completely AU  
SYNOPSIS: There's a big war between the vamps and the humans, all of scooby gang minus Buffy die, eventually vamps and humans come to some sort of peace. Buffy turns bad kind of, she doesn't fight vamps/demons anymore, she doesn't care anymore.  
PAIRINGS: B/A, A/F  
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and I'll give :)  
NOTE: This is quite a dark story, not very happy, angsty (of course).  
FEEDBACK: You know I love it!  
RATING: R  
----------------------------------------------------------  
December 2007  
Part 1 - Who cares?  
  
My knee length boots pound on the pavement and echo throughout the seemingly empty street, my black jacket swishes around my body, tickling my thighs, while my strapless black dress hugs every curve, leaving nothing to the imagination. I brush a stray strand of black hair out of my face and I smile as I see the club with Bruno standing outside guarding the door.  
  
"Hey babe, looking good as usual."  
  
"Don't I know it."  
  
I wink and laugh lightly while he takes my jacket and I enter the club. The music fills my ears and the familiar metallic smell of blood fills my nose and I taste it on my tongue. I make my way to the bar and Jerry hands me my drink before I even have to ask for it.   
  
The black liquid slides down my throat and I wince as it burns slightly but I ignore the pain and order another one. I feel something drip on my thigh and I look down at the red liquid sliding down my leg, I look up and am faced with something I was born to hate but could care less about now. A vampire.  
  
"Hey Bu-"  
  
I grab him by the throat and shove him against the wall, his eyes widen in surprise and I revell in the fear I can smell coming off him. I glare at him and tighten my grip on his throat.  
  
"How many times do I have to fucken tell you to not call me that??!!"  
  
"Shit, I'm sorry Ebony, I forgot."  
  
I let go of his throat and smile coldly at him and knee him in the groin. He falls to the ground clutching his groin and I swear he's almost crying.  
  
"Don't forget it ever again."  
  
No-one notices my little outburst, no-one gives a shit anymore. If I was a vampire I could grab someone and drink their blood infront of thousands of people and they'd all turn their heads and pretend they don't see it. Everybody is beyond caring, so am I.  
  
I make my way back to the bar and sit down sighing while I watch pople on the dancefloor. Blood stains the ground but once again nobody cares. The government likes to pretend that the demons and humans live peacefully together but I know the truth.  
  
Humans selling themselves to vampires, vampires selling themselves to humans. Demons rampaging schools and hotels, the streets are practically soaked in blood. But I don't care because all the people that meant something to me are dead. They died in the 'demon revolution' or whatever it's called now, they died trying to save the bastards that didn't give a fuck about them.  
  
The powers that be, they're still trying to restore peace but it's never going to work, earth is damned, has been for a long time. They asked me to come and work for them after all of my friends died but I basically told them to shove it because everyone I loved was dead and they didn't do a fucken thing to help, I did so much for them and they did nothing for me. Nothing.  
  
I don't know what happened to Angel and his friends, he had to be elsewhere when the fighting started, protect his town while I protect mine. I tried to find him in the aftermath but it was useless, so many people had died in ways that would leave them unidentifiable so I gave up, besides all that was probably left of him was ash. And now I am way beyond caring what happened to him, emotions get you nowhere in this place, I've had to learn that the hard way.  
  
So now I am stone inside, I am darkness, I am cold, I am nothing. And do I care? Not bloody likely. Buffy Summers is gone, Ebony is in her place and that's how it'll always be. That's how I want it to be, I don't let anybody in and they don't bother me, suits me fine.   
  
I've given up the dreams of hope, the ones where everyone is still alive and where the sun actually shines and where I'm loved and I love someone in return. Never going to happen so why dwell on it, it only depresses me. I reach for my drink, skull it and head towards the dancefloor.   
  
I am dead. I am cold. I am stone. I am slightly fucking crazy and I don't care one bit.  
  
End of Part 1 


	2. Beautiful even in the dark

TITLE: Stone Cold (2/?)  
AUTHOR: Talia  
E-MAIL: pinkyboringness@hotmail.com  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own any of the characters, all property to Joss etc.  
TIMELINE: Completely AU  
SYNOPSIS: There's a big war between the vamps and the humans, all of scooby gang minus Buffy die, eventually vamps and humans come to some sort of peace. Buffy turns bad kind of, she doesn't fight vamps/demons anymore, she doesn't care anymore.  
PAIRINGS: B/A, A/F, Wes/Fred, C/G  
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and I'll give :)  
NOTE: This is quite a dark story, not very happy, angsty (of course).  
FEEDBACK: You know I love it!  
RATING: R  
----------------------------------------------------------  
ANGEL'S P.O.V.  
Part 2 - Beautiful even in the dark.  
  
She's so beautiful, after all these years she still makes me weak at the knees. She walks towards the dancefloor, her hips swaying to a silent rhythm and her shoulder length black hair swishing side to side. My throat goes dry and I can't help but stare at the empty space that she once occupied. Faith sighs beside me and punches me in the arm.  
  
"You're drooling."  
  
"Faith...."  
  
I sigh and look down at her, she throws her hands up in the air in defeat.  
  
"Okay, okay! But you can't deny that she's making you hot for her."  
  
I don't answer her, I just glare and she laughs, shaking her head and murmuring under her breath. Sometimes I wonder why I ever agreed to help Faith, she can be such a pain in the ass. Actually she seems to only be a pain to me, the others really like her, considering she wasn't that sweet to them originally, especially Wesley.  
  
"Vodka, straight."  
  
She looks at me questiongly when I pull her away from the bar.  
  
"Want a little sugar huh?"  
  
She raises her eyebrows suggestively and in normal circumstances I would've laughed and gotten some sugar but we can't blow our cover. From what I've heard Buffy has changed. Alot. She hasn't been the same since the revolution, nobody has really, but various sources say she took it hard. Didn't bounce back like the old Buffy and from the outfit and the hairstyle I can tell they were right. I don't know how she is going to react to seeing us again, will she try to kill me? kiss me? what?   
  
"Stop worrying! You're getting little wrinkles."  
  
"I've got more important things to worry about, like whether Buffy is going to kill us or not."  
  
She snorts and folds her arms over her chest.  
  
"I can take her and you know it. Besides it's B, love of your life B. How could she not resist you?"  
  
I smile down at Faith and I'm so amazed at how okay she is with this, she knows that Buffy is going to put a major strain on our relationship, hell it might even break us up, but she was the one that suggested that we look for Buffy and get her own our side, damn the consequences. And I love her for that, not like how I love Buffy, but I love her nonetheless.  
  
I glance over at Buffy and my mouth goes dry yet again. Her hips gyrate provocatively to the pulsating music and her arms sway in the air, sometimes rubbing up and down her sides or running through her hair. I look around and notice everyone elses eyes on her and I also can't help but stare at her, she's just so beautiful, so captivating, but I can feel the hurt and pain radiating off her and a sudden protectiveness - one that I haven't felt in years - blazes through my body and I want to hold her and help her. Faith's voice breaks through my train of thought and before I catch onto what she is saying I notice Buffy turning towards the exit.  
  
End of Part 2 


	3. never alone

disclaimer etc. in first part :)  
  
Part 3 - never alone - Buffy's P.O.V.  
  
"Leaving so soon Eb?"  
  
"Yeah, pretty quiet tonight."  
  
I wave goodbye and pull my jacket on, it falls around me and instantly encompases my body. The hairs on the back of my neck tingle and I sigh, can't I just be left alone? I really don't need this right now. Just wanna go home, down a bottle - maybe more - of vodka, which will then hopefully lull me into a dreamless sleep, yeah right, what am I talking about? I'll always dream of it, the fire, the blood, the screams, it'll haunt me forever, slowly but surely driving me insane. I shake my head and quicken my steps but I'm not going to lose these bastards, they're determined. I stop abruptly and sigh loudly.  
  
"What the fuck do you want?"  
  
Silence. I roll my eyes and turn around, placing my hands on my hips.  
  
"Come out, come out where ever you are! I promise I won't kick your ass that bad!"  
  
They step out and of the shadows and as the light hits their faces a lump forms in my throat and I feel like I can't breathe. I know them...but I don't want to know them, it's him and her. The man I'm supposed to love is standing right infront of me but I don't care that it's him because I'm not the same girl he loved. I'll never be that girl.  
  
I manage to finally swallow and my breath comes out in shallow gasps. I narrow my eyes at them and hold my head high, trying to stay emotionless, even though a tiny part of the old me - the part that hasn't been destroyed - wants to run and sob in his arms.  
  
"What do you two want?"  
  
His eyes lock on mine but I quickly look away, I don't want this, I just want to be alone. I look over at her and it suddenly hits me and I feel so stupid, how could I have not noticed it before? The way she stands so close, the way she looks at him lovingly, the way her hand is place on his back.....they're together... Faith and Angel, Angel and Faith. Oh god I feel like I'm going to vomit - from the alcohol? - I look down at the pavement and it spins sightly, I shake my head trying to clear my mind, - I don't care, I don't care - I shakily push my hair out of my face and manage to look at them with my perfected stony gaze.  
  
"Well?! Times a wasting!"  
  
"We want you."  
  
A hollow, dead sound comes out of my mouth and I realise I'm laughing, they look at me questiongly and I know they think I'm crazy, hey they're right I am.  
  
"Ohh, isn't that sweet? You want little ol' me."  
  
I bat my eyelashes and pout.  
  
"But sorry Angelbaby, plenty of other guys got there first."  
  
I know it hurts him and for some sick reason it makes me happy, for once I'm the one hurting him, the one ripping his heart into pieces that no-one can pick up and I love it, because for a split second I wasn't hurting inside and someone else was.  
  
"Buffy, we want you to help."  
  
He practically grounds it out through his teeth and I notice his fists clenching at his side. He tries to catch my eye again but I look away at a point between their heads, if I just focus on that point, then I won't hurl, from the love and all things happy radiating off them. How can they be so loving when the world has gone to hell? Where no matter how hard you scrub the floor, the blood doesn't come off and then more comes and spills on it and then you give up in the end, because what's the point? My stomach churns again and I waver a little but manage to regain my balance.  
  
"You want me to help? Sorry guys, not in that business anymore. And the names Ebony now."  
  
Faith snorts and folds her arms over her chest, god I hate her, now I remember why, always trying to act like the bigger and better out of the two of us even though inside she knew I was the better, the faster, the stronger and back then I had Angel. I raise my eyebrow and open my mouth to say something but Angel steps forward and places his hand on my shoulder, even through my jacket I can feel the cool of his hand and I shiver as the cool spreads down my back.  
  
I look up and let his eyes lock with mine and they're so pleading that I almost give in but I shrug off his hand and push him away. Faith suddenly pushes past Angel and sends her fist flying towards my face - act of protectiveness? - and I smile because this is exactly what I wanted, to fight - especially fight her - take out all of my pain on them, make them feel something close to what I'm feeling inside.   
  
I grab her fist and squeeze, I smile cruelly as I hear and feel bones crack. She screams in pain, still weaker than me, always will be I guess. I push her into Angel and he glares at me but underneath all that anger I can see love for me and I feel sick but then I suddenly smile as I realise that now I have the power of him instead of him having power of me.  
  
"Leave me alone."  
  
I turn away, but Angel reaches for me and grabs my jacket, I turn my head and sneer at him as I slide out of my jacket and walk away. But before I get too far I turn around, facing them, and blow a kiss to him and wink.  
  
*****************  
The warm liquid slides down my throat, burning all the way down, and singeing the insides of my stomach, but I ignore the pain and open another bottle.   
  
I make my way to my bed and strip off my dress, I curl up under the blankets and guzzle down more of the foul tasting liquid, tears burn my eyes and I begin to sob. It's the same every night, drink, cry, sleep, dream. I cry for my friends, I cry for my family, I cry for me and I even cry for Angel. The tears begin to dry and my eye lids close as I take one last sip.  
  
//Fire. Blood. Screams. Dawn. No! I love you. Goodbye. Save me. Blood. everywhere. Tears. loss. pain. bruises. screams. blood. fire. scorching. hurt. death. sorrow.//  
  
I wake to the sound of someone banging on my door. The pain subsides as the images of my dream fade and I make my way to the door.  
  
End Part 3  
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	4. Needing help

Disclaimer etc. in first part  
  
Part 4 - Needing help - Angel's P.O.V.  
  
I knock on the door again and I finally hear her moving around. The door opens and reveals her in all of her glory.....her nearly naked glory....my throat tightens as she stands there in her underwear and bra, I mean yeah I've seen her naked before but not in a long time. She blinks several times before sighing and rolling her eyes.  
  
"God, don't you have a life? So I'm guessing you followed my scent, isn't that sweet?"  
  
I nearly laugh at her remark, it's almost like the old Buffy but pain and sadness shine through her eyes and instead I want to hold her. Sometimes I hate how I immediately become her protector whenever she's around, there are no words to describe what I feel for her, she's just so unique and special, so whenever she's hurting I feel the fierce need to find the bastard who made her hurt and rip their heads off....literally...but I know this pain isn't as easy as that, it runs deep.  
  
"Are you going to say something or just stand there gawking?"  
  
"Buf-Ebony, we really need your help."  
  
She sighs and turns around, walking towards her fridge and I notice something at the base of her back, it takes me a couple of seconds but I realise it's a tattoo, of a sword. She catches me staring and winks at me.  
  
"Like the tatt?"  
  
I nod my head and try to keep my eyes on her face but I can't help them wandering downwards so I try and focus on a toaster on the bench instead, I mean I'm with....uhh...Faith you idiot! Faith! What happened between Buffy and I has run it's course.....hasn't it?  
  
"Aren't you going to invite me in?"  
  
"No."  
  
She smirks at me and sits down at her table, resting her legs on the table and opening the bottle. I sigh and she rolls her eyes getting up.  
  
"Here, have a chair then."  
  
She hands me a chair, her hand brushing mine just enough to make my hand feel like it's on fire, she always does that to me, the slightest touch and I'm like ash slipping through her fingers and I just don't seem to care. She sits back down on the chair and takes a drink from the bottle, it seems stupid that this is so awkward, we were lovers for god's sake, we would tell each other everything but I just can't seem to get her to open up.  
  
"So....just living with Faith are we?"  
  
I smile inside at the hint of jealousy in her voice.  
  
"No, Cordy, Gunn, Wesley and Fred live with us too."  
  
"Oh, the whole fang gang then?"  
  
"What about you? Living alone?"  
  
She quickly looks away and guzzles more of the alcohol.  
  
"Uhh..yeah...alone..."  
  
"What about the others?"  
  
She blinks back tears and looks me straight in the eye.  
  
"They're dead."  
  
Awkward silence falls over us and the only thing that can be heard is the faint sound of someone screaming outside. Part of me wants to run out there and help but I know it's useless, by the time I get there, there will be nothing left but a dead body lying in a pool of blood. I mean I do care but we're getting too outnumberred and they're getting stronger. Buffy coughs and stands up.  
  
"Look, lets cut the chit-chat crap, if I help you just one time, will you get off my back??"  
  
I nod my head and she shakes her head, mumbling under her breath.  
  
"Hang on, I'll just get dressed."  
  
Relief washes over me, this went a lot better than I thought it would. Faith thinks she's crazy but I think she's just hurt, she's lost everyone, I kind of know how she feels. For years I was lost and then Whistler came to me and showed me what my purpose in life was....Buffy....and all I have to do is show her what her purpose is.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
Her voice is cold and distant as she pushes past me, wearing red leather pants that looked like she would have had to have sprayed them on and a black halter neck top.   
  
"Aren't you....cold?"  
  
She raises an eyebrow and smirks but she doesn't go back inside to get a jacket, she just keeps walking and I growl quietly, and sigh rushing to catch up with her.  
  
End of Part 4 


	5. We said you and me

Disclaimer etc. in first part  
  
Part 5 - We said you and me - Buffy's P.O.V.  
  
We drive in silence, Angel and I, every so often he catches my eye and smiles but I look away. I haven't genuinely smiled in a long time, why start now?  
  
Should I start because my ex-lover is sitting right next to me? So close that I can smell his scent everytime I breahte in, so close that my blood is screaming for him. Screaming for him to take me, bite me, break me, make me his. Just sitting next to him, not even touching, is bringing back all the unwanted memories. The kisses, the passion, the lust, the love....everything that I haven't let myself feel, everything I don't want to feel, because everytime I do it's ripped away from me and I'm left alone in the unforgiving darkness.  
  
He smiles at me again but I just look at him blankly and then try and focus on the road ahead of us. I hear him sigh and then his cool breath dances over my skin teasingly, daring me to tell him that deep down I still love him, that I want him so badly that my bones ache with a need that only he can satisfy.  
  
I shake my head trying to make sense of the mess that is my mind, but all I manage to do ismake it worse. Still love him?! What the hell am I talking about? You don't love him remember? He left you, he hurt you, he made you cry, he made you patheic, he made you feel....but none of that matters, when you think about it, because it's him.....fuck I need to get out of here! He's goddamn everywhere!!  
  
"Are you okay Ebony?"  
  
"I'm fine." I snap irritably, his eyes darken and he stops the car abruptly. I open my mouth but he cuts me off.  
  
"Get out."  
  
"What the fuck?"  
  
"We're here."  
  
"Oh."  
  
I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment and I scowl. Why am I embarrassed??? I don't give a shit what he thinks. I get out of the car and slam the door muttering "asshole" under my breath. Angel comes up beside me and nudges me forward.  
  
"I heard that you know."  
  
"Good."  
  
He frowns and opens his mouth - probably to say some angry retort - but he quickly closes his mouth and glares at me, his jaw clenching. I smile innocently and revell in how I can still make him mad, good to see some things haven't changed.  
  
Angel pounds on the door - still angry? - and it opens revealing my dark haired sister slayer Faith. She jumps into his arms and kisses him - more like mauls him - I roll my eyes and pray for something to kill me now or else I think I might just vomit. Have they never heard of "get a room" I mean not everyone wants to see her shoving her tongue down his throat. - jealous? -  
  
After their little 'make-out session. Faith looks at me and smiles.  
  
"Hey B."  
  
I nod my head but don't smile back, I know what she's thinking "Ha.Ha I finally have what was yours and what I always wanted." but I don't show any emotion on my face, and shame on her I don't want him anymore anyway. - are you sure about that? - I continue to stare at her until she coughs uncomfortably and turns around, leading us inside. I'm not going to let her win, I'm better than that, better than her.  
  
They lead me to a large room, the walls are littered with maps, drawings, photos and sketches. A large bookcase leans against the back walla and a table sists in the middle, again littered with maps, empty coffecups and plates.  
  
Angel and Faith leave to get the others I guess and I make my way towards the photos on the wall. I lightly touch the photos, as if touching them too hard will burn me. Tears blur my vision and their faces melt into one and I clutch my chest, trying to reach my heart so I can soothe the pain. As the tears slide down my face, the faces separate and I see the photos-memories of them/ Red hair, cheeky grin, wrinkly face, blonde hair, blue eyes, long hair.....Willow Rosenburg, Alexander Harris, Rupert Giles, Anya Harris, Tara McClay and lastly Dawn Summers. My beautiful sister. I haven't seen them for so long, only in my dreams, I'd forgotten how beautiful and special they all are. Missing is written underneath their photos, I should add dead.  
  
Another photo catches my eye and I gasp, I know this girl, blonde hair, green eyes, pouty mouth......it's me. The old me, the real me. Buffy Anne Summers. It sounds silly but I'd forgotten what I really looked like, I haven't looked at my reflection for a long time. I look so young, so carefree, so loved, I can just imagine how I look now, broken, dead, cold. I quickly wipe my eyes as voices approach, I take one last long look at the people that I held so close to my heart before they all enter the room.  
  
"Hey Buffy you're looking....guys what's a word better than trailer trash?"  
  
"Cordelia for god's sake."  
  
"What?! I'm right and you know it."  
  
"Cordelia. Wesley."  
  
No nice to see you, how are you, kiss my ass because I don't even like these people why waste my oh so lovely charms on them? But I do try to smile at them it ends up drooping and I give up. Angel probably filled them in on how crazy I was so why bother. I can imagine what he said "She's fragile, all of her loved ones are dead, so no sudden movements and for god's sake Cordelia pay attention!" I stifle a laugh as a girl with mousy brown hair runs over to me.  
  
"Hi I'm Fred, well Winifred Burkle but you can call me Fred, I'm Wesley's fiance. I'm sure he has told you about me....well if you were here he would have."  
  
She shoves her hand out to me and I extend mine, she grabs it and beams at me, enthusiastically shaking it, a little TOO enthusiastically, this girl kinda freaks me out.  
  
"Hey, so you're Buffy or Ebony, I'm Gunn."  
  
A tall black man steps forwards and smiles warmly, nodding his head at me. He opens his mouth to speak again but I cut him off.  
  
"Call me Ebony, and if you're gonna make some dumbass remark about how 'spry' I am, I'll kick your ass."  
  
He laughs loudly and shakes my hand.  
  
"I like you."  
  
I smile, I like him too. He's real and honest, not freaky like that other girl. And the way Cordelia's is glaring at me, he's with her. Isn't this so fucken sweet? Everybody is paired off in their own happy little couple and of course minus me, isn't that how it always is? Solo. Alone.  
  
A boy comes into the room, he looks about 16 or 17, he looks so familiar but I just can't quite place him in my mind. His skin is pale which is a shock contrast to his black hair. His piercing blue eyes lock with mine and I look away unnerved.  
  
"Ebony this is my son, Connor."  
  
Angel's words stab me in the chest and I cltuch my stomach, leaning on the table as my head spins.  
  
"Your son?" I manage to say it calmly, but inside I'm dying.  
  
"Yes my son, Darla is his mother."  
  
Another stab to the chest. Darla? Evil Darla? Vampire Darla? Dead Darla?  
  
"What...how???"  
  
He open his mouth to explain but I hold my hand up to stop him.  
  
"It's okay I don't want to know."  
  
His son. Connor. Son. His and hers. Theirs. - I don't care, I don't care - I push my hair out of my face and turn to face Connnor.  
  
"Hi, I'm Ebony nice to meet you."  
  
"Likewise."  
  
He looks so much like them, the eyes, the face, the hair, it hurts too much to look at him. He's beautiful, exactly like how you would expect Angel and Darla's child to look like. Wasn't I supposed to be the mother of his children? Weren't me and him meant to spend our last days together? I shake my head again, pushing down those thoughts, what the hell am I thinking?? I need to lie down.  
  
"Is there somewhere I can lie down? I'm suddenly tired."  
  
Wesley nods his head and takes me to an empty room. He offers to stay but I assure him it's okay and he closes the door, leaving me to sit alone with my thoughts. I clutch the pillow to my chest and tears run down my face as I close my eyes.  
  
I am dead. I am cold. I am stone. If I am then why does it hurt so much?  
  
End of Part 5  
  
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	6. Kiss me there

NOTE: Connor ages rapidly so that's why when Angel says "alive" for six years, it means he's kinda only 6 even though he looks 17.  
NOTE 2: Just to clear up some confusion, Angel is still a vamp, he wears a ring with gem of amara in it, to protect him. Oh yeah this part has some MAJOR angst, just thought I'd warn ya ;)  
NOTE 3: This part contains sexual content, I don't go into any deep description but you can kinda guess what they're doin ;)  
  
  
Stone Cold  
Part 6 - Kiss me there  
  
"So that's Buffy huh?"  
  
I nod my head at Connor and he nods back, his eyes darkening, a sign that he's thinking. Oh great here comes the endless questions, oh the joys of parenthood! I stifle a chuckle, 'parenthood' I still can't get over that. I'm a father, me, the vampire with a soul, who'd have a thought? Even though Connor has been 'alive' for six years, it feels a lot longer than that, not because there was always people after him but because I was so amazed over how I created him, that I was in constant awe....and still am.  
  
All questions are forgotten as Connor rolls his eyes at me.  
  
"Dad! You're doing it *again*"  
  
"Doing what again?"  
  
"That whole gushy mushy thing. It's so gross, please stop before I vomit."  
  
I roll my eyes and laugh.  
  
"Son, I lo-"  
  
"No Dad! Remember you don't have to say it! How many times do we have to have this discussion?? I just now okay? I just know!"  
  
I laugh again and ruffle his hair. A comforting warmth spreads through my heart...pride. I am so proud of him, he rolls his eyes and gets up walking away and muttering something about how gross parents can be, Faith laughs at me and pretends to vomit before telling me that she's taking Connor out to buy some clothes....she's probably going to try and take him to a club, like she always does, they'll never let him in he doesn't look old enough and even if he had I.D. I don't think they'd let in a six year old.  
  
I let her go with him anyway because something...rather someone tugs at my brain and all of my thoughts rush back to her. Even after seven years of not seeing her at all, she still makes me speechless with just one look, one flick of her hair, one blink of an eye.  
  
I still love her and I always will, but there's just so many layers of pain surrounding her that sometimes love can't conquer all. No longer can I just hold her in my arms and kiss the pain away, this is thicker. It hangs over her like a blanket, slowly suffocating her. And I feel so helpless, but I don't want to give up because for years she made me feel alive and now it's my turn.  
  
I excuse myself from the others and make my way towards the room where Buffy is. As I get closer I hear her voice, it's panicked and scared. I open the door and find her crying in her sleep. I grab her arms and shaker her gently, softly calling her name, trying to coax her out of the nightmare.  
  
Her eyes flutter open and she looks at me confused for a few seconds, while everything registers, as the memories of the dream hit she cries out and wraps her arms around me sobbing. My body goes rigid for a few seconds, I didn't expect this, I just came in to try and get her to talk to me, but I eventually relax and rub her back, enjoying the warmth of her body. She pulls back and looks up at me, I wipe away her tears and she smiles, gently leaning into my touch. As I lean in to kiss her, I almost pull back, I shouldn't be doing this, she needs to talk not kiss, she doesn't even want this but when our lips meet she doesn't pull away.  
  
Buffy:  
  
He kisses me so tenderley, so lovingly, so sweetley that I feel like I'm going to cry because it's just so damn beautiful and everything in my world is ugly. He pulls away reluctantly and I notice the look in his eyes, I know what he wants because I want it too. And I know I shouldn't, this will be the undoing of me, I'll find myself falling in love with him again and that can't happen because what we had is gone - are you sure? - we can't hold onto the shredded reamins of what we used to have....it's just...too much...But I lean into kiss him anyway, no matter how 'wrong' it is because for once I'm feeling something instead of feeling so hollow and lifeless.  
  
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down with me, he shifts his weight to the side, while his hands slide up and down my hips. I pull away from the kiss, breathing heavily and the world spins slightly, but it's a nice feeling, it's the feeling I used to get when I was 16 and Angel was my world.  
  
"The curse?"  
  
"Not a problem."  
  
Images of Faith and Angel naked flash through my mind for a few seconds before I push them away and focus on him, the man that meant so much to me....that *still* means so much. I trace his features with my hand, as if I'm trying to familiarise myself with every curve and crease that I used to know. As my hand wanders to the spot where his pulse should be on his neck he gasps and I smile, I remember that he likes to be kissed there....remember....remember...memories....memories of how it used to be not how it is. It can't ever be the same can it? My smile falters and Angel's brow creases in concern.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
I shake my head dissmissingly and lean forward again and kiss him, whilst unbuttoning his shirt. I don't want to stop because I don't know if we'll ever be like this again.  
  
I wrap my legs around his waist and I scrape my nails accross his back and I run my hands along the muscles of his chest and I kiss that spot and I.....feel...for the first time in years I'm feeling....something....something close to love - or is it actual love? -  
  
As I cry out his name and the world comes crashing down around us, he leans against me and whispers  
  
"I love you."  
  
I want to say it back, but what will it do? It can't make everything magically better, sometimes love just isn't enough. I want to cry as the empty feeling returns, as my heart feels heavy and cold, as my chest feels like its going to cave in, but I don't, I'm all cried out, and crying won't solve anything.  
  
"Angel what are we doing here?"  
  
He sighs and his breath dances over my skin again, the breath that I felt all over my body a few minutes ago, the breath I want to feel all over my body again.  
  
"I don't know Buff-Ebony."  
  
"Call me Buffy."  
  
He smiles faintly and I try to smile but the moment is lost and the aftermath is now, where we have to decide 'where to from here?'  
  
"Angel this...this...can't..ever.."  
  
"be anything."  
  
I nod my head and look away. No matter how much I try and convince myself that this is the right thing to do, I can't help but want him and wish that things were easy....I can't help but love him. I try to push it away but I can't, I'll love him for eternity, forever, cos isn't that the whole point? But like I said before sometimes love just isn't enough.  
  
"We can't try and repair something that is just too broken and bruised."  
  
"I know."  
  
He reaches out and strokes my cheek, as I look into his eyes I see the love and pain that I'm feeling too and once again I find myself wishing that things were easy.  
  
"Angel I lov-"  
  
I don't finish the sentence because I know it'll ruin the moment and I want to hold onto this for as long as I can. He reaches out to me and I move forward into his arms. I curl up against his chest and he brings the blanket around us, resting his chin on my head, his arms wrap around me, pulling me even closer, I also wrap my arms around him.  
  
"I know Buffy...I know."  
  
Limbs entwined, we just lie there, Angel and I, in each others arms not wanting to let go but knowing that eventually we have to.  
  
End Part 6  
  
Don't worry B/A'ers this isn't the end of them! Also be ready for some action soon, sorry for the incredible lackage of action :) As always FEEDACK...REVIEW luv it.crave it.want it.need it. I'm a slave for it, so do me a HUGE favour and some in!! :) 


	7. Let's get moving

AN: Sorry for the LONG wait on these two new parts, but school has been ruling my time lately so when I do make new parts for this story, I'll probably add 2 or 3 new parts because there's going to be long waits :(  
  
Stone Cold  
Part 7 - Let's get moving  
Angel P.O.V.  
  
We enter the room and instantly all conversation stops and their heads all turn to stare at us, Buffy's already flushed face turns a brighter shade of red and I shift nervously under their gazes.  
  
"What?"  
  
Did they know? I mean yeah we weren't exactly quiet but this is a pretty solidly built house and the room we were in was pretty far away. My eyes dart from face to face trying to read their expressions.  
  
"Are you okay? Ontop of everything?"  
  
"Ontop?"  
  
"of Buffy?"  
  
Buffy reddens even more while I stand there open mouthed at Cordelia.  
  
"You know, is she gonna all spaz on us?"  
  
Wesley sighs and rubs his temples.  
  
"Cordelia..."  
  
"What? Tact, remember not my thing."  
  
He sighs again and glares at her while she feigns innocence. Gunn laughs and wraps his arm round her shoulders, I sigh and run my hands through my hair while Buffy lets out a breath of air and slides over to the table, her face returning to its natural colour.  
  
"Uhhh...yeah..it was good-I mean it's all good, it's okay."  
  
Great way to sound suspicious, idiot. Cordelia raises an eyebrow at me and opens her mouth but is cut off by Wesley clearing his throat. Whew saved from my stupidity.  
  
"I know Faith and Connor aren't here but let's get started on-"  
  
"Hold up Wes old boy, we're here."  
  
He glares at Faith and she beams at him, sliding into the seat next to me and taking my hand. Connor smiles at me and takes a seat next to Buffy, she flinches when he sits down but she tries to cover it with a smile that once again falters. She stares at him a while longer before her gaze travels to me, I know we said this can't ever be anything but I want her, so badly it hurts. It must show on my face because she flushes and looks away quickly.  
  
"Well now that we're all here, let's get on with tonight's raid."  
  
"Raid?"  
  
"Oh sorry Buffy, groups of demons have been kidnapping humans and keeping them as prisoners.. rather slaves, to either feed off, work for them or for other....ahh...reasons."  
  
She nods her head and he continues.  
  
"So what we do is go in and rescue these people."  
  
"What for?"  
  
Everyone's eyes widen at Buffy's question.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Why do you save these people?"  
  
Wesley is shocked into silence, as is everyone else. I open my mouth and reply.  
  
"Because that's what we do, protect the innocents."  
  
"But really, what's the point? This town...the whole world is damned, what's the point in saving a few people when there are a billion more that also need saving?"  
  
"We do what we can Buffy, saving some is better than none."  
  
"Right, risking your own lives to save a few people who probably couldn't give a rat's ass about you and they only care now because they're in trouble. The powers that be, I'm guessing that you guys work for them? Haven't you ever wondered why they don't *ever* reward us? Their supposed warriors? They strip away everything we love, when we do *so* much for them, we fight for them, for good, for balance blah blah blah. And what do we get in return? A big fat nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. Talk about underpaid."  
  
"Buffy, we fight because we have to, save the people that don't deserve to be treated like they have been. It doesn't matter if the Powers don't reward us because that's not why we fight."  
  
She shrugs her shoulders and stares at me blankly.  
  
"Just not seeing the point here."  
  
What happened to the girl who used to fight against the evil even if she knew she couldn't win? What happened to the girl who cared? Faith sighs and shakes her head.  
  
"Why the fuck did I suggest we ask her to help? She doesn't even want to."  
  
Buffy smirks at her and leans forward on the table.  
  
"That's where you're wrong Faith, I do want to help, just this once, because well, got to return the favour that Angel gave me upstairs."  
  
Faith's eyes narrow and my face pales even more than it usually is, her hand loosens in my grip and she stares at me, her face is passive but I can feel the rage boiling underneath, just waiting to be unleashed.  
  
"What is she talking about?"  
  
"*she* is talking about how he helped me get through some shit so, as Cordelia put it so eloquently I don't go all spaz on you guys. What were you thinking Faith?"  
  
Buffy leans back in her chair and smirks at Faith, daring her to say something, to start something, but remarkably she sits there facing forward, not looking at anyone in particular just staring, I reach for her hand but she pushes it away and clenches her fists.  
  
"Well I still don't see the point in helping these people, were they there for us when the revolution first started? No, they hid while we had to fight for their lives, risking our own. The powers are useless bastards who can't do things for themselves. I don't see the point, I don't want to see the point so let it go, I'll help, this one time and then I'll be out of your way. I'll disappear back into the darkness so you can all play happy families again."  
  
She stands up and the silence that had fallen over the room a while ago stays, settled above us, mixing with the tension, anger and frustration. As she walks past Faith, she grabs Buffy's arm and looks up at her menacingly.  
  
"Ever wondered why I call you B?"  
  
Buffy shrugs her shoulders nochantly and shoves Faith's hand off her arm, but Faith stands up and grabs her again, spinning her around, she steps forward, almost knocking Buffy over. I quickly move to push them apart but Faith holds her hand up and shakes her head at me.  
  
"B stands for Bitch."  
  
Everything remains quiet and we all stare at the pair, engrossed in the dangerous scene before us. Then suddenly without warning a smile breaks out on Buffy's face and she begins to laugh, the same hollow sounding laugh that she did when we first met her. Buffy slaps Faith on the back and continues to laugh while we all look on puzzeled. She finally stops laughing, gasping for air slightly and suddenly stands up straight, sending her fist flying towards Faith's face, and before any of us can react, Buffy's fist connects with Faith's nose and she screams out in pain after the sickening thud, she falls to the ground, blood flying. Buffy looks down at her and winks.  
  
"But I've got something better."  
  
I run forward to Faith and hold her down as she tries to get up, swearing and screaming.  
  
"The fucken bitch! whore! slut!"  
  
"Faith! Calm down!"  
  
"Calm down??!! You're just gonna let her get away with that?! Let her punch *me*?!"  
  
"Faith.....what the hell should I do? huh?"  
  
She sighs and wipes at the blood, smearing it over her face.  
  
"Just keep away her away from me, that's all I'm gonna say."  
  
I help Faith up and Cordelia passes her a damp flannel. She snatches it off her and storms away towards the mirror by the sink. I look over at Buffy and I feel so torn. I *should* be over with faith, soothing her, calming her, but instead I kneel here, mere inches away from Buffy, just watching her, feeling her around me. Buffy looks down at me and once again I'm staring into those empty green eyes that used to be filled with so much love and hope, she shrugs her shoulders innocently and flicks her hair over her shoulder.  
  
"Come on, let's get going, we haven't got all night, there's bottles of vodka waiting at home for me and if I'm not back soon, they'll start to worry."  
  
She turns and walks out of the room, what happened to the confident, beautfiul girl I once knew? She's someone else now, I should get used to that, let go of the past, look at the future, focus on Faith...Faith the girl I......love? Yes, love, I love her, maybe not like I love Buffy but I love her...Buffy and I are over anyway...finished...ended..over...it's done..it's..it's..  
  
End of Part 7  
  
It seems a little unfinished the ending to this part, that's because he's still all confused over the whole Buffy/Angel relationship thing, like is it really over etc etc. Hope you're all liking it and please ease my addicition for feedback by reviewing me ;) 


	8. Dear Sister

AN: I can't remember the name or the exact lyrics of the song that Joyce is humming to the girls so I made some of the lyrics up.  
  
AN2: This part is damn angsty! And it's pretty dark and not happy, much like the pervious parts of the story, just thought I'd warn ya :)  
  
Stone Cold  
Part 8 - Dear Sister  
Buffy P.O.V.  
  
As I walk out of the room, I feel his eyes burning into my back and I hate it. It's meant to be over but he keeps stirring all of these feelings in me and I want to kiss him, to punch him, to scream at him, to feel his weight ontop of me. I want it all, the guy, the family, the friends, the shiny happy life.....the son. But I have nothing and that's probably how it will always be.  
  
"You can come with us Ebony."  
  
Wesley signals to a black van and I nod my head, glancing over at Angel who for some annoying reason is glancing over at me. He leads Faith - now nursing a broken nose - and Connor to his car. They look like a family, Connor could pass as Faith's real son and then they could all live happily ever after. I hate them. Wesley turns away but I grab his arm and he stops.  
  
"Wes, call me Buffy."  
  
His eyes widen with surprise and then he smiles, little wrinkles crease in the corners of his eyes and I feel my heart clench...he reminds me so much of Giles. Wesley notices my change in demeanour and reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder but I dodge his touch and hurry towards the van. I have to get away from these people, they're so loving and kind and it makes me sick - but isn't that what you need? what you want? -  
  
I sit in the backseat of the van by myself while Cordelia and Gunn sit infront of me and Wesley and Fred take the front seats. They chat amongst themselves but I don't try to join in, I just stare out the window and into the dark abyss of the night. The shadows encompass everything, killing all the bright, happy things in its path.  
  
Every now and then I see a flash of someone as the the headlights sweep over the buildings, but most people are hiding, they think that if they just close the door and huddle by the fire that they'll be okay, that nothing will get them or their families because the bad things only live in the dark....not anymore.  
  
I remember when the revolution had started and when the demons had become brave and had started to attack during the day. A group of coorlog demons stormed through a classroom of seven year olds, leaving no-one alive, not even the pet gerbil. I remember getting there too late and blood was everywhere and I remember I collapsed on the ground and cried because if I hadn't been too busy screwing Spike then I could've saved those children and the picutres of happy families and sunshine that they had drawn could've come true.  
  
Me and Spike, what a joke. I really thought I was falling in love with him, I never really did though, I was just fooling myself, trying to feel something that wasn't even there. But I learnt and grew up, moved on and then I finally didn't want to die anymore and I was smiling and laughing and loving and then it was ripped away from me, and I found myself wanting to die all over again.  
  
//"Willow you're my big gun, if we don't return in 30 minutes then start the spell."  
  
She nods her head and bites her lip.  
  
"You will come back won't you?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
I squeeze her hand and I try to smile reassuringly, but I'm really not sure if we will be back. We've already lost Tara and Giles and the demons are getting stronger and there's just so much of them.  
  
"Buffy...I...love you."  
  
"I know Will, I love you too."  
  
I hug her and inhale the familiar scent of herbs and I want to cry and throw a tantrum because I want to stay here, at my house, with my friends where I feel safe and loved. But I know what I have to do, it's my job...my duty, so I pull away and leave, and when I close the door I don't realise that it'll be the last time I will ever see my best friend Willow Rosenburg alive.//  
  
It was a trap of course and as Angelus said all of those years ago "And you fall for it everytime." I remember how I ran back to my house, so fast that my heart felt as though it was going to burst through my chest....but I was too late again.  
  
"Buffy...Buffy??"  
  
I look over at Cordelia and she hands me a stake and an ax.  
  
"We're here."  
  
We all huddle together around an abandoned building as Cordelia dishes out the weapoins. Wesley comes and stands next to me and points to a warehouse a couple of buildings away.  
  
"That's the warehouse, you and Angel will take the roof enterance. Faith, Connor and Fred will go in the back and Cordelia, Gunn and I will take the side."  
  
"So it's just a smash and grab deal?"  
  
He chuckles and nods his head. We all split off into our groups with Angel and I leading the way. As the others go to their positions, Angel boosts me up to reach the ladder and I blush as I feel his hands all over me. Get with the program Summers! You're to fight, kill then get out and leave these people behind! We reach the roof and Angel comes and stands next to me as we look into the building and wait for the signal.  
  
"Buffy I want to thank you for helping us, I really mean it."  
  
"Don't thank me yet."  
  
He smiles and I find myself smiling back and that stupid warm feeling is rushing through my body again. Suddenly he's standing right beside me and I'm leaning up against him and he's looking down at me lovingly, we hear a whistle and we quickly pull away, I open my mouth to... I don't know apologise? But he nods his head towards the open window in the skylite and I close my mouth and nod back. I jump through, landing like a cat, on some sort of platform. Work stops around me and I look into the humans eyes and hope is shining through their eyes and as I stand some of them shed a tear and I get that old feeling, that feeling that I got when I was the active slayer, the one that reminded me that this was what I was born to do, it was my duty to save people.  
  
"Grab her!!"  
  
"Sorry to drop in like that, I didn't realise it was invite only."  
  
Angel lands beside me and I smile innocently and shrug.  
  
"I hope you don't mind, I bought some friends along. NOW GUYS!!"  
  
And the fight begins, I jump down from the platform landing on a vampire, stake ready. Poof. gone. I feel arms wrap around me but I grab them and flip him over, landing a kick to his head, stake stabbing forward. poof. gone. I hear a scream and look up to see Fred being cornered by another vampire. I make my way towards her, punching and kicking and staking.  
  
"Hey baby."  
  
I turn around and punch him in the face and twist his arm, smiling when I hear bones crack.  
  
"Don't *ever* call me baby"  
  
Stake ready. poof. gone.  
  
"Hey big boy. Pick on someone your own size, well half your size but who's counting."  
  
The vampire cornering Fred turns around and growls, I jump towards him landing on his shoulders, he tries to grab my legs but I jump again, grabbing onto a chain above me, I pull the chain and let go pushing the vampire into the path of the falling weight. He screams out but doesn't make it in time, Fred smiles at me, handing me my stake and I smile in return.  
  
I look over at Angel and he points at a girl standing with her back to us, I nod and run over to here, dodging arms and flying weapons aimed for my head. As I near the strange girl I hear her humming, and I frown as I recognise the tune.  
  
// "Mother, mother, tell me true  
what can grow without the dew  
what can burn for years and years  
what can cry but shed no tears"  
  
"Goodnight my girls."  
  
Mom's arms wrap tighter around us and she places a kiss on our heads, Dawn yawns while I close my eyes, Mom's humming lulling me to sleep.  
  
"Mother, mother, tell me true  
what can grow without the dew  
what can burn for years and years  
what can cry but shed no tears"//  
  
I finally reach the strange girl and I walk towards her, reaching out my hand to turn her around but I stop as she speaks.  
  
"Sister, dear sister."  
  
"Who..what..are you talking about??"  
  
"Don't you remember this voice, dear sister?"  
  
Sister? What the fuck?  
  
"The only sister I ever had, is dead."  
  
"You're right there dear sister, but you're also wrong, yes she died not body but soul, the old Dawn is gone and there's a new one in her place. I'm so glad you could join the party Buffy, I've been waiting for you."  
  
This can't be Dawn, Dawn is dead, I watched as the fire encompassed her body, I watched on helplessley, until I couldn't bear the smell of burning flesh any longer.  
  
"You are *not* Dawn Summers."  
  
She shakes her head and her long brown hair moves with her head, her hair, long and silky just like Dawn's, I remember all the times I used to play with it because it was so beautiful. No this is not Dawn.  
  
"Sister, dear, dear, sister. How about I show you?"  
  
She slowly turns around, but stops halfway and I feel my heart stop with her because half of Dawn's beautiful face is staring at me, the blue eyes, the pouty mouth, the cute little brown freckles // "At least a fly didn't poo on my face!!"  
  
"It's not poo, they're freckles!"  
  
"Yeah sure, whatever"  
  
"I hate you Buffy!!"  
  
"I hate you more!"//  
  
I clutch my chest and stagger slightly, shaking my head, blinking as if that will erase this imposter from my vision, but she still stands there infront of me, Dawn, Dawnie, my sister, my sweet sweet sister.   
  
"Bu...but..th-the..fire??"  
  
She laughs and I feel tears sting my eyes as her laugh sounds like mine, hollow, dead.  
  
"That's a funny story that, rather a painful story. Yes you saw me get eaten by the fire but if you'd stayed around for longer then you would've seen that it didn't get all of me and I managed to get out."  
  
She turns around completely and I gasp as she pushes away her hair from the left side of her face, revealing burnt, disfigured, skin, she touches it, tears forming in her eyes and I look away dizzly, holding onto my stomach as if I'm trying to keep my insides in.  
  
"All down the left side of my body, everywhere. I have to live with it everyday, the pain, the ugliness, I hate it, I hate you."  
  
"Wha-what did I do?"  
  
"It was all your fault!!"  
  
"What is? I tried to save you! I did!"  
  
"I see you've changed your look, did the guilt do that to you dear sister?"  
  
"Guilt?"  
  
"It *was* your fault I 'died'. If you hadn't have gotten involved with old Spikey boy then the whole 'fire incident' would never have happened."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You were always such an idiot dear sister, don't you ever wonder who started the fire?"  
  
"I..I.."  
  
"It was him, Spike, jealous ex-lover, usual story, loved you but you didn't love him, he got his chip out - without telling you of course - and decided to pay you back for how you treated him, which was pretty crap by the way."  
  
Spike? How could he?!  
  
"Oh you needn't worry about him dear sister, he's not around anymore, he was one of my first kills, don't look at me like that! He deserved it, he did after all, kill the old Dawn."  
  
"I didn't know he was going to do that...I'm sorry...dawnie.."  
  
She leans forward and mocks sympathy, gently stroking my face before her face twists into anger and she slaps me.  
  
"You bitch! You're sorry?? It was all your fucken fault!! All of yours!! Do you remember how Anya died clutching her stomach, as if she was holding her unborn son's hand. Your. fault. bitch. You're so fucking stupid! Willow dying. your. fault. Xander. Giles. Tara. Me!!!!! You deserve to die, not me, not me, NOT ME!"  
  
Her hands cover her ears and she screams, clutching at her hair, pulling it until she rips some of it out. Her eyes suddenly fly open and she breathes out heavily, chest heaving.  
  
"Sorry about that, I have some...issues."  
  
"Why didn't you come looking for me?"  
  
"Why?? Were you not listening??!! Dawn died in that building, her feelings, her thoughts, all died along with her, why the fuck would I come looking for you?? Because we're 'sisters', whoopdee fucken shit, 'it's all about blood Dawnie'. I don't give a flying fuck, blood stains and it's useless, it doesn't save you, don't you remember how you had to die all because of stupid fucken blood??!!"  
  
// "Live for me." \\  
  
"What..are you?"  
  
"I'm *still* the key of course, I'm still human, well at least I think so but I've learnt some moves, I'm stronger now dear sister and I'm here to bring hell on this godforsaken shit hole."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
She leans forward and she smirks at me, her wrinkled burnt skin, creasing and crinkling, I feel like I'm going to vomit.  
  
"You'll find out soon. Stick around dear sister, it's going to be one hell of a ride."  
  
She winks with her disfigured eye and I feel my stomach lurch, I fall to the ground and vomit, my head pounding and my heart aching. I hear her walk away and I roll away from my vomit, wiping my mouth and at the tears running down my face.   
  
"Buffy? What happened? Are you okay? Buffy??"  
  
I block the voices out and lie there sobbing, Dawn, Dawn, my sister, my blood, my beautiful sister, dead, gone, the new Dawn walking around in her grotesque body, hating me, like I hate myself. It's all my fault she died, all my fault everyone died because I should have been there protecting them. It was my duty, my job, my life and I failed, like I always do.  
  
End of Part 8  
  
*dun dun dun dun DUN* Whoa that was a long part! WAY longer than usual, so you like? The plot is thickening, don't expect it to get much happier, it's gonna stay angsty, B/A coming up ;) Feedback, I'm a slave for it!  
  
Oh yeah, Dawn is alive but she's sort of crazy now so when she says it was you fault I died she's talking about the old Dawn, just like how Buffy has changed a lot. 


	9. Blood on the Ground

AN: In this part they're doing the deed again lol But once again I don't go into much detail :)  
  
AN2: I know I said that the next times I update I'll be adding 2 parts, I just haven't had the free time this time around. I've got so much work at school, I have the other chapters planned out but it's just a matter of getting the time to write them. So *please* don't send me e-mails demanding to know where the next part of the story is, I'm snowed in with work, I don't *always* have the time. A *huge* thank you to all of you who have given me feedback/reviews for this story, it is *greatly* appreciated! You all rock :D  
  
AN3: // = Dreams  
  
Stone Cold  
  
Part 9 - Blood on the ground  
  
Buffy P.O.V.  
  
"Buffy? Who was that?"  
  
Angel gently shakes me, I look up into his eyes and I just want to hide there, in those beautiful eyes, hide from this horrible world. Where everything is harsh and everywhere you go death is all around you.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"D...Dawn...it..w-w..was..Dawn"  
  
The words feel thick in my mouth and I stumble and choke on them. Tears run down my face and Angel wipes away at them and it makes me cry even more because the person that I want to take comfort in, is taken and that hurts just as much as Dawn.  
  
"Dawn? Alive?"  
  
I nod my head dumbly and stand up shakily, leaning on Angel. I glance over at Faith and she glares at me so I push Angel away, making myself stumble but somehow still managing to stay upright.  
  
"Dawn, she...said...s-s-something about..bringing hell to this town. She's b-bad...she hates me..."  
  
Cordelia places a hand on my shoulder and smiles sympathetically -uncharacteristically- and my mind wanders to how Willow used to do that.  
  
"Buffy, now's not the time to discuss this, why don't you come-"  
  
"No. I've helped you, like I said I would, I want to go home, so I have to tell you now."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No."  
  
Angel comes to stand next to me and I can feel the tears coming again, I move away from him and tell them what Dawn said. They all apologise and give me their sympathetic smiles and I want to yell at them, scream in anger at how they didn't even know her, so why should they apologise?! They didn't know that she liked peanut butter and cheese sandwhiches or how she used to be scared of the pictures on the bottom of pools. But I just block ther faces out and nod, not really listening, not really there at all.  
  
I wipe at my face one last time, trying to compose myself, before I turn to leave.  
  
"Buffy, wait."  
  
"Angel, no. Goodbye."  
  
Goodbye, so final, that's what you say at the end of something, is it really the end of us? He looks so hurt and I hate how because he's hurting, I'm hurting as well, but I turn away and run. Run from life, reality, him, leaving unsaid things between us as always, things like I love you.  
  
Faith:  
  
Angel yells out one more time, but she just keeps running. He sighs in defeat and I take his hand. He doesn't look down at me, he just keeps staring out after her longingly, even though she is long gone.  
  
"Angel."  
  
He finally looks down at me and my chest tightens at the look on his face. He still loves her, so much that he's probably oblivious to everything around him. And I'm jealous because he'll never love me like I love him, but I get it now, we're not meant to be, no matter how much I love him. I cup his cheek in my hand and smile at him.  
  
"Go."  
  
He looks at me puzzled and opens his mouth but I silence him with my finger to his lips. I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.  
  
"Go after her."  
  
He still stands there, mouth hanging open and wide eyed.  
  
"Go. Be happy."  
  
"Faith I am-"  
  
"Not as happy as you can be. Now go."  
  
He smiles that trademark half angel smile and I feel my knees go weak. He strokes my cheek and turns away, his hand - still in my grip - tugs at mine and I finally let go of it, of him. His coat billows around him as he walks off, I clench my fists and bite my tongue, trying to keep myself from screaming out and trying to plead for him to stay with me.  
  
The fucken bitch better treasure what I've given her, the man that could get through the stone wall around my heart, the man that could make me, Faith the vampire slayer giggle. That's right giggle like a fucken school girl.  
  
I hate her so much...no I don't hate her, I envy her, she always had everything and still bitched about it..I guess I would too if I - no way, I'm not gonna try and understand her, I don't like her, yeah, I hate that bitch.  
  
Even though Angel has been gone for a while now I whisper I love you into the wind and I feel a warm hand entwine with mine. I look down at Connor and smile, he rubs my hand and I wanna break down and cry but I can't because I've got something to do. I've been dreaming about it for months, I didn't tell Angel because he would've freaked and probably not let me do it, but this is something I *have* to do. I've finally found my destiny, it's just a pity I have to die for it.  
  
Buffy:  
  
I curl up into a ball and stare at the faded photo of my sister. I trace my fingers over her smiling face and tears splash onto it, distorting her face, making her look like she does now. How could I let this happen? If only I hadn't have gotten involved with Spike, if only I hadn't been so goddamn blind, so fucken stupid...if only....if only...  
  
Dawn was right, I *do* deserve to die, I'm not making much of this life anyway. I reach for the bottle of vodka and bring it to my lips, it slides down my throat, it burns but I can't really feel it, I've gotten used to it, it's as if my throat is permanently numb....just like my insides.  
  
A shiver runs down my back and I feel a tug in my bones, it's him, he's here. Should I go to the door and let him in? No, we're over, done....if we are then why am I walking towards the door?!  
  
As I reach for the door handle my hand shakes furiously, not nervously, but in anticipation of seeing him, of feeling him, of touching him. My skin is starting to itch for his cool soothing touch and all I want to do is kiss him and lose myself in him. It scares me, the power he has over me, I would do anything for him and I don't know if that's good or bad.  
  
I open the door and he stands there stoically, as always, trying to keep his cool when his eyes tell a different story. The tears come again and instead of having that happy reunion I walk away and scowl at him.   
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Can you invite me in?"  
  
Should I? Should I risk it? I know that if I do, I won't be able to stop myself from pouncing on him and blubbering words of I love you and I need you.  
  
"No."  
  
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair....my mind wanders to earlier on in the day when we were making love and that hand was running through my hair and that mouth was whispering promises that can never happen and that....stop it, get a grip.  
  
"Buffy, we need to talk."  
  
"About?"  
  
"What happened today....about us."  
  
"I told you what happened today Angel and there is no us remember?"  
  
"For fuck's sake Buffy, would you get over yourself and let me in, somehow I doubt that you brushed the events of today off so easily."  
  
He nods toward the empty bottles on the bench. I look away ashamed and mumble the words he wants - and I want - to hear.  
  
"Come in."  
  
I expect him to smile triumphantly because he won me over again but he rushes in and takes me into his arms, I don't push away, I welcome his embrace and revell in it.  
  
"Buffy, I love you and I want this to work....I want to start again with you."  
  
Part of me is singing while another part of me is crying.  
  
"Angel..w-we can't..too much-"  
  
"We can start again, forget the past, concentrate on the future."  
  
I want to believe him because it sounds so perfect but it's not that easy, nothing ever works out like we want it to.  
  
"We can't forget about the past, it's too big, too much."  
  
"Can't we try?"  
  
I look into his eyes and I realise that he's winning me over once again, he has such a hold over me but what I never used to realise is that I have a hold over him.  
  
"I-I-....love you Angel."  
  
He smiles, that small smile and I feel my heart soar, maybe this will turn out, maybe it won't, but I want to try, to see if it does because this is something that means so much to me, it's something that is so big and so beautiful that I can't not try.  
  
He leans down and kisses me, so, so gently, so, so sweetly, so, so lovingly. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss, but he pulls away and I almost groan at the loss of his touch.  
  
"Buffy, we've got to talk about today."  
  
I nod my head and sigh, talk....isn't that what we always do? He pulls a chair next to mine and we sit down.  
  
"It's not your fault, you know that don't you?"  
  
"But it is! If I hadn't have slept with Spike then my friends would still be alive...laughing...crying...smiling!! Dawn wouldn't be like she is and...I wouldn't be like this either!"  
  
He leans forward and pulls me into his embrace once again.  
  
"You didn't know that was going to happen. It's not your fault."  
  
The tears come again and I sob in his arms. Sometimes I hate how weak I am around him, I fall into his arms so damn easily...maybe that's a good thing, maybe it's what I need.  
  
"If only I hadn'-"  
  
"Buffy, no more if only's, it's happened, it's done and now it's time to deal. Stop blaming yourself and move on, don't let it destroy you, you're so beautiful and amazing and I hate seeing you hurting like this."  
  
I push away from Angel and look up into those eyes. God I love him. So much. Our love has it's happy moments, but it has its fair share of pain. And it's so amazing how I'll always end up going back to him. No matter what. In the end, we'll always be in each others arms.  
  
"I love you Buffy."  
  
"I love you."  
  
He leans down and he kisses me again but more firecely this time, with more passion and fire.  
  
"Wait-Angel....what about Faith?"  
  
"She told me to go and be happy."  
  
Lips on mine.  
  
"So"  
  
Kiss.  
  
"Here I am"  
  
Kiss.  
  
"Being happy."  
  
Love you.  
  
I pull him down ontop of me and dig my nails into his back, pulling at the jersey that restricts me from touching -worshipping- that pale cool skin. I run my tongue along his bottom lip and wrap my legs tighter around his hips, pulling him as close as humanly possible.  
  
His hands trace lazy circles on my stomach and his lips -oh those lips- kiss me gently everywhere, so lightly, hardly -barely- touching me, making me cry for more. I moan his name and he cries out mine in return and in the heat of the moment we're one, together, loving, wanting. needing. And I smile, my real smile because I haven't been this happy in so long.  
  
As the afterglow settles and my eyelids beg to be closed I smile again because I feel so alive and the outside world doesn't matter right now, nothing does, it will again soon, but for now I can just lie here in my lover's arms and sleep.  
  
// I feel a strong hand land on my shoulder and it turns me around - the scenery around me blurring into one, until I can't tell what's what.  
  
She smirks at me and squeezes my shoulder, her hair -like raven's feathers- falls around her face, gently blowing in the wind.  
  
"Faith."  
  
It's weird, we can't get along in real life but in our dreams, everything is forgotten.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
She winks at me and looks out at our view.  
  
"Better look after him B, he tries to act all macho and tough but he's really just a big crybaby."  
  
We laugh together -the first time since forever- and I step forward taking her hand in mine because we're sisters, maybe not by blood, but by our duty.  
  
"I've gotta go soon, haven't got much time."  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Just away somewhere...."  
  
"But where? I don't want you to go."  
  
She turns to me and smiles, reaching out and pushing a strand of hair out of my face.  
  
"You look better blonde Buff, only *I* suit the dark colour."  
  
We laugh again and it feels like old times...even though those old times weren't so great. She leans forward and whispers in my ear.  
  
"It's a long way to fall Buffy, maybe that's not the best way to go. Always remember the red you share means something."  
  
"You're good at this cryptic stuff."  
  
She shrugs her shoulders and smirks. Suddenly her eyes widen in surprise and she clutches her chest, blood soaks through her white mid-driff shirt and drips down her stomach. I reach out to grab her out stretched hand but when I blink she's gone and in her place is Angel.  
  
"Hello lover."  
  
He purrs and before I know it, I'm lying on a bed and he's hovering over me, smirking down at me and his eyes -dark, deep, mysterious- are filled with raw passion and lust and I know that mine are reflecting the same.  
  
His hands wrap around my arms and as I realise that it's Angelus his grip tightens but I don't scream -or make a sound- I smile up at him and he leans down, kissing me roughly -biting, sucking, nipping- and I groan into his mouth.   
  
He loosens his grip on my arms and falls ontop of me -crushing, squashing- but I don't complain because I love it when he's ontop of me, feeling his weight pressing down on me. I lean up to his ear as he kisses my neck and whisper seductively in his ear.  
  
"Make me yours."  
  
I close my eyes and his fangs sink easily into my skin, he drinks greedily and the darkness calls to me so I give in and my eyes close.  
  
Angel. Mom. Dawn. Willow. Xander. Giles. Anya. Tara. Oz. Spike. Riley. Cordelia. Wesely. Faith. Darla. Kendra. Drusilla. Vampire. Demon. Slayer. Bad. Good. Love. Passion. Loss. Pain. Lust. Hope. Death. Danger. Fight. Kill. Forever, isn't that the whole point? //  
  
I wake up startled and as my eyes adjust to the darkness I search frantically for Angel's hand between the sheets. I grip onto his hand and I lie down on his chest, his -strong, solid- arms instantly wrap around me but he stays asleep.   
  
What does the dream mean? I don't understand what Faith wants me to do....is Angel going to lose his soul? Is he going to kill me? Is Faith going to die.....I wish Giles was here.  
  
Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep.  
  
Angel stirrs and mumbles something about his cellphone but before I can ask him where it is he's drifted off to sleep again, I can't help but smile, he looks so damn cute, hair sticking up in all sorts of directions, slight frown, god I love this man.  
  
I reach into his coat pocket and pull out his phone, I walk into the kitchen and flick the light on but stop halfway to the sink as I read the message. My heart stops beating and my hands go cold.  
  
'It's Faith. Come now. Bring Buffy.'  
  
What do they mean it's Faith?  
  
End of Part 9  
  
Whew that was a long part, yup another cliff hanger-ish ending, hope you all liked it, B/A goodnees :D As I always say feedback want.love.need. so send it on in! I have no idea when the next part will be up, maybe this weekend, maybe next week....sorry everybody :( 


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